Pregnant stripper...not hot.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
