Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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