he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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