Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
