my phone needs a breathalizer
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
