She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
