Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Randomize
