Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
