Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
