You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
