I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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