the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
This is my gift to your gina
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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