I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
