RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
