There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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