Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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