I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
