His hands were made for my vagina.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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