just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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