how can u be prego again
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
