I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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