Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
