Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
