He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
they need to just BURY HIM!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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