i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
