dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
