I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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