I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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