i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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