the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
