a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
