dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
