i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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