Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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