I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
