Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
