How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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