My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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