I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
