It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
