Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
