you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
