Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
