Me. At least after what I've been through.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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