They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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