I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize