Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We had sex on a dog bed..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
