I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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