ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
