I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It's like God shit irony all over that family
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
