you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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