Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
