community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
