I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
