My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
