so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
