i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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