I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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