Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
