I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
