Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
