he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
