Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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