i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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